Monday night went pretty well, Mark and Kelsey both spoke with great passion for the leadership of seen in different Old Testament Figures. Thanks to everyone for the prayers.

Tuesday I went to Boys and Girls Club in the morning, did ministry stuff in the afternoon, and then that night we finally had a campfire at the Poudre river (we have planned two campfires this summer and really only completes about half of one). It was a lot of fun to chill with everyone and then do some late night worship. Wednesday I served at the Boys and Girls Club in the morning and did some planning for next week's activities in the afternoon with Lauren.

Wednesday night was date night with Jesus. Meryl was great and let me borrow her car to drive out to the Poudre all alone, which was much needed. I drove out to a rock on the river that Meg shared with Sal, Hannah, and me last week and just sat and talked to Jesus. Over the last week and a half and especially the last couple days, God has been bringing some of things from my past to the forefront of my mind, things that I have tried to forget or convinced myself that I was over that I have really not healed from or given to Him. I really just sat and had a heart to heart with Him about what is going on. In the midst of the mountains with whitewater rapids drowning out my words, I felt like I was actually able to be real with the Savior and myself. It was a great night.

Today, I cleared my schedule for things I needed to get done around the house-laundry, letter writing, Boba tea with Kristin, Liz and Sally, reading, coffee with Daniel, lunch with Kristen, and now blogging with Sally. Lots of little things that needed to happen. Tonight is the first Bible study meetings lead by students. I'm excited to be meeting with some new girls but I will for sure miss our old Action Group.

I'm not really the queen of transitions into deep stuff, so here is my deep stuff for today:

It's funny, the more I live in this house and talk to people and live life and grow with everyone the more I think that in order to be fully surrendered to and living for God, there will always be something in your life that's basically "messed up." It seems like as everyone in the house is at this pinnacle of spiritual growth, like the closest we've ever been with God in our lives ever, the more broken and messed up we all are. Like really, no one here has the story of "I'm not struggling with anything right now." In fact, a lot of us may have thought that 6 weeks ago, but now as we ask God to let us know Him, He is there in our face, challenging us, telling us how not ok we really are. I guess I've never thought of spiritual growth as a struggle before, I think I probably saw it as the opposite, like I will grow the most when I have the most "figured out." But as I grow through this summer and try to satisfy my hunger for Christ, the more I need to be satisfied, the more I cry out to Him, the more I feel there is no other way I could get through the next 24 hours, the next 5 minutes without Him.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."