fail....

So, I'm going to be honest with you all. Even though God has blessed me with a lot of great stuff this last week, I feel like these last few days have been a losing battle with Satan. I don't know that I can even put a finger on what's going on in my head or, maybe more importantly, in my heart, but Satan has been on the attack and I feel like I am failing.

Before leaving Project we basically took an entire night to talk about how coming home could be stressful, re-entry stress as Crusade has so fittingly termed it. The first week or so I was home, I felt like I pretty much dodged most of the stress and thought I was out of the clear, but the last few days, I feel like I walk around the house looking for a fight. Basically I wake up and I am already in a bad mood....which makes me more mad because I feel dumb for being mad about nothing, but I choose to stay in a bad mood, because that's of course the logical thing to do. And then there is Satan lying to me, and me stinkin' believing him. I hate when I buy into Satan's lies. I hate how easily he gets me to question myself, other people, my relationships with other people, anything! How can I go through an entire summer like the one I just had and grow so much, but still be so vulnerable to Satan's lies?

I don't know the answer to that, but I do have this that I found yesterday while reading:

Psalm 9:9-10
The LORD also will be a stronghold for the oppressed,
A stronghold in times of trouble;
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,
For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Father,
I know that you have never forsaken me, You are always there even when I don't feel You or when I feel like ignoring You. Father, please be my Stronghold. I love You and want to live for You, only You, I don't want to fall into the enemies lies.

On a slightly more upbeat note, I got to see Alex, Jake, and Allie baptized Sunday, what a blessing!! I'm so excited to see them giving Him everything :)