The End of Big Break

So the last time we chatted it was Wednesday morning at Big Break, so much has happened since then so here's a list!

1) Thursday morning: I spent some time with Jesus on the beach. I took a break from my time in Judges to hear from Christ in John 21. All week one thing that had been on my heart was Jesus call to "tend His sheep," so I decided to go through John 21 where Jesus give this command to Peter. The chapter start with Peter and some other disciples fishing, they don't catch anything all night and then they see "someone" on the beach who tells them to throw their nets over the right side of the boat. We all know how the story ends, the disciples pull in nets full of fish and then Peter and John realize that someone is Jesus and Peter jumps into the water and swims to the beach because he is so overwhelmed and excited to see Jesus, that is a passion I desire! Then when Peter makes it to the beach and has breakfast with Jesus, Jesus asks Peter if he loves. It takes Peter answering that question three times before Jesus moves on from His questioning and every time Peter tells Jesus the he does love Him, Jesus tells him to feed and tend His lambs and sheep.

I couldn't help but feel like Him was asking me the same thing sitting there on the beach.

Randi, do you love Me?
Yes Lord of course I love You.
Randi, do you love Me?
Come on Man, of course I love you, I'm at Big Break, I'm giving you this week.
Randi, do you love me?
Yes Lord, I love you with everything, everything I am, everything I have, I love you.
Randi, feed My sheep.

I sat on the beach for a little while just spending a few more moments with Jesus and I left ready to follow Him, ready to feed His sheep.

2) Thursday later morning: Since Thursday was our last day of ministry and Friday was a free day, at Thursday morning's talk Ben and Shelby challenged everyone to consider going on a summer project. I have been praying since I got home from Colorado that God would reveal what He had for me this summer. I really thought that was going to be an internship with EMi, then I didn't land that job for this summer so I though maybe God was calling me to stay in Madison for the summer with a local internship, all semester I have been filling out applications and sending emails to potential employers and nothing has panned out.

So when Shelby stated panning through project options that were still open for the summer, I was thinking a little bit about where God might be reserving my time. Then Shelby started talking about a brand new project for this summer, a project working relief in an internally displaced people's community in Haiti. Of all the projects he had introduced, obviously this one caught my attention over the others. They had mentioned this project briefly earlier in the week, but didn't really say what it was. Shelby went on to explain that GAIN, Campus Crusade's relief branch, would be running 3-3 week summer projects where students would work with people in and around Internally Displaced People's communities. Right away I knew this was an option for this summer that I had to consider, but I didn't want to jump into any decisions either. As I sat and thought about, talked the option over with God, the thing that kept coming back to my mind was the Lord's call earlier that morning, Randi, do you love? Then feed my sheep.

So I haven't heard back on my application yet, but I feel like God is calling me to spend 3 weeks at in July in Haiti! I'll let you know when it's official, but I really don't see Him closing this door. I would love it if you all would start praying that the Lord would begin preparing my heart for the experience He has for me. I know it's going to be unlike anything I've ever done, and honestly I'm a little nervous, but more than anything I can't wait to serve Him and see what He has for me!

Now we're not done yet....

3) Thursday Afternoon: That afternoon when we went out sharing, I was sharing with a girl, Shaina, from Cornell. Cornell has only had CRU on their campus for a semester, so there were only 5 people from their campus on Big Break and all week they had been sharing with us. As Shaina and I started the day I could tell she was still a little unsure of sharing her faith and still struggled a little bit with the KGP. I had her lead me through it and the plan was for her to watch me share it with a group and then have her do it on her own. Afte we shared with a group of girls from Edgewood, which went really well :), Shaina said that she was glad that the girls had asked so many questions because she had asked a lot of the same questions too. After she said that I just really felt like there was still some stuff she was struggling with so I asked her is she wanted to just sit down and talk about some of those questions with me. We slowly began to work our way through the KGP addressing any questions or hesitations she had as we got to them and 2 and a half hours she made the decision to give her life to Christ!!!

It's an understatement to say I was completely stoked! I've never seen God use me in that way in anyone's life and to really see the change in Shaina when she was able to overcomes Satan's lies in her life and truly accept the promise of John 1:12 was truly awesome. I abuse that word a lot I think, I use it too much, but this seriously was awesome.

So yeah, Big Break in a nutshell! Lot's of good stories and God moments.

quick update

So when I promised to blog everyday, I was, of course, over estimating my ability to fit a million things into one day on Big Break. In fact, I really only have like 15 minutes this morning to give you a quick update, so I will give you a lot of pictures, a little explanation, and a promise of a few deep thinking entries written on the drive home.

I have been having a blast this week and really seeing God move in BIG ways. Two times a day we get to listen to speakers Ben Rivera and Roger Hershey train us in evangelism and help us to go deeper in our own walks with God. Then, for a few hours every afternoon, we go out to Spring Breakers on the beaches and just try to start conversations that will lead to us sharing the Gospel with them. We have been using a survey put out by Campus Crusade called the Quest survey that has 6 different questions like "What are 3 words that describe your life?" and "On a scale of 1-10 rate your desire to know God personally." The questions are designed to simply help us get to know people better and then help make an easy transition to spiritual conversation. We have been sharing the amazing story of God's love and grace using the "Would you like to know God personally?" booklet put out by Crusade. The KGP (knowing God personally) is a really effective way to share the Gospel. It's four point presentation is right on and really east to follow while communicating the Gospel very clearly. If you're curious about the Gospel or just want to learn more about what our encounters on the beach look like, you can find the KGP here.

We've seen a ton of people come to Christ on the beaches and even one student who came on Big Break with his school got saved yesterday, Praise the LORD!!

As promised, here are some pics too.



Monday night all the boys put together a "Creative Date" for the girls rooms. Our guys put together a Mexican themed evening!! Great tacos and wonderful salsa music!



Here's a view from our hotel room of our amazing beach.



Tuesday afternoon we helped put together meal kits for Haiti relief in partnership with Global Aid Network and Kids Against Hunger. Over the last 5 weeks of Big Break, we have put together over 1 Million meals that will be shipped to Haiti Friday!!



Tueday night was our turn to put together a creative date for men's rooms. We began our night with aluminum foil sword fight battles and followed with pizza and of course epic music from Pirates of the Caribbean all night!

Over all, I'm having a great time this week, God's been working in my heart a lot and I can't wait to see what He continues to do this week. Please continue praying for boldness and the guidance of the spirit for all students here.

Big Break!!!

With this week comes a long awaited and much needed Spring Break! School has been so ridiculous and stressful lately, I am so stoked to have a week to have no homework or deadlines to make. And where am I spending my break you ask? In beautiful Panama City Beach, Florida I answer! I am on Big Break with Campus Crusade for the week. Over the course of the week, we will be listening to speakers, growing in community, and sharing the gospel on the beach to college students from all over the country. I've never been on Big Break before, I'm so excited to be here, but definitely a little nervous to take the Good News to the beach. There are so many college kids here just looking to be filled up with anything or anyone they can find on the beach. I pray that God fills me and everyone here at Big Break with His strength and courage and that His Spirit would guide us as we share on the beaches this week.


Today we spent some time just chillin and hanging out on the beach. What do college kids do while on the beach????

Dig holes and bury people of course!

Heading Home

I'm thinking this will be my last exclusively Haiti blog. Of course I'll probably keep writing about what God continues doing in my life through Haiti, but as far the Haiti "narrative," the story is coming to an end.

The next day we left for the airport about 9 with plenty of time to get to our plane, just in case something went wrong. While we were waiting we saw a few relief planes landing, a couple from the US, one from Brazil, and one from a country who's flag we couldn't recognize.

Getting through customs was mostly painless, so we got to our gate with a ton of time to sit, grab some Duty-Free Domincan coffee, and see some search and rescue dogs unloaded from a plane that landed while we were waiting. We met a group of people on a missions trip who were in Port-au-Prince during the earthquake, the embassy was evacuating them though the Domincan. They had been in a grocery store just before the earthquake hit, when they got out of the store the ground started shaking and they turned around when it was all over to see the store collapsed behind them. They were already running late for dinner because they had been at the store, when they got back to Wall's guesthouse (the guesthouse our group uses when they have to stay overnight in Port-au-Prince), it was collapsed too. They were traveling home with nothing but the clothes they were wearing at the time of the quake and envelopes from the Embassy stamped "HAITI EVACUEE."

Flying home definitely came along with a huge range of emotions. On one hand, I couldn't believe we were actually leaving already. Right away when the earthquake hit, most of us figured we would probably be in Bayonnais for a while and now we were getting out practically on schedule. At the same time, I knew that one of the best things in the world was going to be getting the chance to see my family that night. I had gotten the chance the night before to talk to them on the phone for a couple minutes the night before using Eyleen's skype account, but it was going to be amazing to see them for real and just wrap them up in hugs. I couldn't wait to see them. Then there were the thoughts lingering in the back of my mind that we were actually leaving while there was so much need behind us. Add all that to the physical and emotional exhaustion of the last two days and you can imagine how great of a spot I was in.

Our plane ride to Miami was pretty short. When we went through customs to go back into the US the guys who checked me in went through the basic questions, one of the last ones he asked me was how long I was in the Domincan. "One day," I said, and he just looked at me like, "Really?" Then, you could see all the dots connect. "Oh, were you in Haiti," he asked looking pretty concerned at this point. I told him I was and then we chatted for a bit about our project and he ended our conversation with one last question, "So are you ever going to go back?" Without hesitation I replied that of course I would be going back, as soon as possible. He looked a little surprised and sent me off with a smile and then headed to another desk to get a new boarding pass because we had already missed our connecting flight. I wondered to myself how the customs agent really could expect any other answer, how could I not want to get back to as soon as I could?

On our way to the ticket desk, we saw a group of people who had been coming from Haiti too as thye met their families out side the terminal. Understandably they had a pretty emotional reunion, but there was a news camera man right in their faces. It hit us at that point that there might be cameras in Chicago too, and none of us wanted that. There wasn't really anything we could do if news crews were planning on being there, but it was a worry that just kind of sat in the back of my mind anyway. We hoped that our families and friends hadn't told anyone when and where we were getting in.

Security and ticketing in Miami was actually the hardest and most stressful part of the trip home. Nothing seemed to go right and we were already running really tight on making it to our gate before departure. Eyleen had to go back to the ticket counter once we had gotten all the way through the line for security because they had printed our the wrong boarding pass, John had to like completely re-pack his backpack that he had carried onto 4 planes already because it was too big, lines were just moving slow. I got through security first and got to our gate ASAP to be there just in case we needed to hold the plane. When I got to the gate, it occurred to me that I really had no power to actually hold a plane from taking off, but if it was necessary, I was going to get it done! Luckily our group ran up to the gate as the second call for boarding rang over the loud speaker.


Finally, we were on our last leg home. Tyler, Eyleen, and I got to sit next to each other in the middle row of our 767. The ride home was a combination trying to sleep, journaling, nabbing a newspaper from the man next to us, and talking with eachother, trying to reconstruct a timeline from the last couple days. So much stuff had been packed into the last two days, we each remembered most of the the story, but the bits and pieces seemed to be scattered. The three of us put together the pieces as best we could.

Then we were landing in O'Hare. I could hardly believe it. Eyleen's parents and mine were coming to pick us up, she texted them as we got into the terminal. We walked to baggage claim together, I was nervous. I couldn't wait to see my family, Mom and Alex and Dad were all there waiting. I was so excited to be wrapped up in bug huge hugs, but at the same time, I so didn't want to fall apart. I'm not sure why it was so important to me, probably just pride I guess, but I just wanted to be strong, to not fall to pieces. We stopped when we got to the escalator that lead to baggage claim.

"Are we ready?"

I don't think any of us really were, at least I wasn't, but we made our way down anyway. I don't know if there really is a name for the emotions that seemed to be flying around inside of my heart and my head, so I won't try to put my finger on it. As we got down the escalator, our families came into view, there they were (without any cameras!!). Before I knew it, I was embraced in the tightest, longest, best hugs I've ever had, fighting tears, holding it together, but just barely. I don't know what it would have been like to not have them there. The though really just occurred to me, but man, I'm so thankful they were there!

We made our way to pick up bags, introducing the team to families and families to the team. It really was a surreal night for me. Traveling all day in and of itself presented so many ups and downs, now I was back with my family in the most intense reunion I've personally known, and then life starts to go back to normal immediately-I'm asking Al about school and exams, I'm getting updates on the boys, its like I've just been gone for a week. Not that that was a bad thing, it's what I wanted, but it was just interesting I guess.

We spent a little while at baggage claim, Eyleen's mom and picked up some food for us (so good) and then we were on our way. Jon, Michael, and Tyler rode in the van with us and Eyleen took Alysen home. For maybe the first 15 minutes of the ride, we told a couple of stories and recapped the travels home a little, but for the most part we took the ride to mostly start catching up on sleep. We got to Madison quickly and dropped the guys off and then rode back home to Portage. I told a few more stories on the way home, but right now I honestly couldn't tell you one thing I said. We got home Saturday morning about 2 AM.

The next couple days at home were good. I wish I would have had more time to just sit, to take things in and journal and sit, but my time at home was short, so I spent it as much with my family as I could. I went to watch Jake and Nick curl Saturday afternoon, I was really nervous about going to the club. I felt like everyone that was going to be there probably knew where I had been the last week and I didn't really want to be overwhelmed, but everyone was really good. People we interested and asked questions, but most people treaded pretty lightly and gave me space, which was such a blessing. Church the next day was the same, and the next morning I headed off to Madison to start school Tuesday.

Over the next couple weeks, God did a lot of moving and working in my heart. This blog is getting long and I just want to get it posted, so those are stories for another day, hopefully soon. I want to say thank you so much to anyone who is reading this. You're faithful prayers and support these last 6 weeks have meant so much to me, probably more than I will ever know. I wouldn't be where I am tonight without them, so thanks

Our Night in the Domincan

We got to Santo Domingo about 8 that night. We caught a cab from the bus station to the hotel where we had reservations, thanks to North Carolina friends in the US. Most of us expected we would be spending the night in kind of a dive, which was fine, we wouldn't be there that long anyway. So when we pulled up to a hotel that looked more like a location on the Vegas strip than the hostile we expected, we could hardly believe it.

Once we got checked into our rooms we grabbed dinner at the hotel buffet and for the first time in three days, we relaxed. Anyone sitting near us must have thought we were crazy. The longer dinner went on, the goofier we got. The stress that we had all built up was being released in roaring laughter. Then some guy dressed in a tux sat down at the grand piano conveniently located right next to our table and started playing Disney songs, and there was no hope after that, we kind of lost it, but it was fun.

Once we got back to our rooms, we were able to take advantage of two things that had been missing from the previous days--showers and internet. We were able to reply to all the emails from news stations and update everyone with our travel plans, we even got a few phone calls out to family through skype. I caught everyone at home in the living room at the same time, that was great!

Throughout the night, the feeling and mood in our rooms definitely fluctuated.

At one point, I remember sitting on one of the beds with Tyler and Eyleen watching the news, the first EQ coverage we had actually seen, and it kind of hit us that we were going home. 24 hours earlier we were in Haiti and in about 24 more we would be home and out of chaos and safe, but when Actionnel got home, he would still be in Haiti. Haiti is home for him, for his family and all the people we had lived with for the last week, they didn't get to be done with the chaos left over by the earthquake any time soon. For a while, it was like "what are we doing leaving?" When we stepped back, we knew we had to leave--staying in Haiti was not an option, there would not be enough resources, and if nothing else as Actionnel had said the night before "our families needed us home." But we were all in Haiti because its a country we love and we want to help, and now more than ever we wanted to be able to do something, anything we could. It was so hard to accept the fact that the best thing for we could do for Bayonnais was to leave them.

When we watched the 27 news coverage from a couple nights before, and all we could do was laugh. The news guy was so over dramatic as he read Eyleen's post on our travel blog "We are O K" he read, enunciating every syllable. Really, really.....

While I watched TV that night, the coverage hit me like disaster coverage never really had before, it was so real. Every picture and video they showed reminded me of Bayonnais. I felt like any of those people could have been the people I had come to love over the last week. For me, it was definitely worse than 9/11. I was so little in 2001, only 12, I didn't really get it when it happened. At that time, it took me weeks to really understand why planes in New York mattered to people in Wisconsin. But, this I understood. I knew that this earthquake had already changed the country forever and that life everywhere in Haiti had just gotten so much harder than it already was. Every once in a while, there was the glimmer of hope that maybe this relief would be the beginning of a new revolution in Haiti.

We all got a good night's sleep that night in our ridiculously nice beds and headed for the airport first thing in the morning.

Lessons on the Bus

On the bus, I really wanted to sleep, but couldn't. I thought about journaling, but wasn't up for that either. So, I wrote this list instead.

Things I've learned in the last week

Most hotel shuttles don't pick-up after midnight

Airports get pretty cold at night, even in Florida

Haitians and Americans define functioning roads very differently

Haitians cook great food

Soda out of a glass bottles is definitely the best way to drink it

Always be open to exploring a plan B

Places where people stop you on the road just to chat every time they see you do still exist

Creole for beginners:
Bonswa = Hi Sava? = How's life? Blanc = White

Surveying is way more fun in Haiti

Language is powerful

Facebook is universal

The best strategy while playing dominoes is definitely to slam the table as hard as possible

"Shower" is a loose term in Haiti and bucketing is way better anyway

Why the "least of these" will be the greatest

Never underestimate the usefulness of carrying a knife, duct tape, and a bandanna in your pack

Always fill your camelbak all the way, even if you're just planning on being out for a couple hours

Haitians are fascinated by toe shoes

Patience is a virtue

Banana trees really do yield bananas when not grown in a sunroom in Wisconsin

God prepares us for trials whether or not we realize it at the time

Haitians love like no one else

Assessment trips can turn into implementation trips at the blink of an eye/crack of a pipe

Worksites where no one is getting paid at the end of the day are the most rewarding

4" couplings don't necessarily fit directly onto 4" pipe

God appoints the leaders of His church for such a time as this

Real men cry

I am blessed

I think I know what Paul was talking about when he wrote Romans 12:15

God is sovereign

I don't understand sovereignty

Stars in Haiti at 4AM are unparalleled

Hymns in any language are beautiful

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Here's a few I have added since being home

Prayer is powerful, even across oceans

God's put some really great people in my life

January 8th was ages ago

I love Haiti and can't wait to go back

God's called me to tell a story

Leaving

Thursday morning we woke up at about 3:30 to leaved at 4. Believe it or not, but it was still very dark at 4AM. I've never seen a sky as amazing as we saw that morning! The weather had been a little downcast while we were there, so there was only one night we had been able to star gaze. This early morning sky blew us all away. There was literally no ambient light anywhere, the stars were so bright, breath taking. Any other time, I would have loved to simply stand beneath the stars and wait for the sunrise, but instead we grabbed our bags that were ready from the night before and loaded the bus.

A few men from the village were going to accompany us for the day. Everyone was pretty quiet. Even though we were all pretty awake, there wasn't really a lot to say. Every once in a while, Actionnel would start singing hymns. The words were in Creole, but the tunes were familiar. At one point, he chose "Amazing Grace."

As the sun came up, we all started to get more talkative. We weren't leaving the way we came, so the drive was new for all of us. We drove through the mountains, which was beautiful. We got a little glimpse of what Haiti was supposed to look like, the moisture in the mountains is the perfect environment for the jungle that used to cover much of Haiti.



The drive for the most part was pretty uneventful. We got to the border and got through fairly easily, there was a very long stretch of about 20 minutes when we were separated from our passports, but for the most part everything was pretty easy. The officials at the border let our Haitian friends walk us to the bus station. We waited with them for about 45 minutes and then our bus left.



As we started our long bus ride across the country, stress that had built up the last few days slowly began to lessen. You could see everyone starting to decompress. The Dominican really is another country compared to Haiti. They definitely still are in need in a lot of their country, but there is an infrastructure and access to things like building materials that is not at all present in Haiti. It's unbelievable to me how an arbitrary line in the sand, drawn hundreds of years ago separates two different worlds.