I'm not quite sure what I'm really looking to say tonight, so I'm just going to start typing and see what happens.
I don't know if I've ever felt less prepared for a day as I feel tonight about tomorrow. Tomorrow I will stand in a funeral for hours with my family. I will be giving hugs, getting hugs, listening to stories, crying, laughing, and talking with people about the amazing man that my grandfather proved to be every day. Tomorrow my grandpa's death will again be as real as it was in the hospital waiting room on Saturday. I will be hit with emotions I don't want to experience and surrounded by a family I couldn't live without. I will rejoice in the fact that Grandpa is in the presence of the King and mourn because I know life in this family will never be the same.
Although I've been bombarded with a million memories in the last couple days, one that keeps sticking out to me is a dinner I shared with Grandpa Billy this fall. I had just gotten back from Colorado a few weeks ago and Grandpa and Grandma had me over for dinner. We talked about my experiences in Colorado and what the Lord had done in my life through them. After dinner Grandpa brought out a printout of my recent blogs. We talked about them a little bit, one that stood out to him was a review I wrote of a book I was reading at the time, "How could a loving God...." by Ken Ham. In this blog I talked about my struggle to understand things like death and suffereing in this world and how this book tried to alleviate that. After talking about the book for a little while, Grandpa concluded the conversation with something like "Books like these are good, but at the end of the day, we know we've got the best with God and He's got the best for us, as long as we have our faith, it's enough." So tonight, my faith will be enough, and tomorrow I will worry about when it gets here.
Thanks so much for your prayers this week, I can't tell you hw much your love and support mean to me.
